I've learned to take email criticism of gigs from audience members on the chin. Having said that I figure if someone has taken the time to email me at all then I owe them at least a minute's consideration. Sometimes I learn something useful from this approach: whether it's that the acoustics in a venue were too rackety or the toilets too smelly; and other times I learn only that it's totally impossible to please everyone. Just as well I don't expect everyone to like what I do. I mean everyone is entitled to their own tastes.

But earlier this week I got an email that raised my eyebrows. It was from a woman who'd had a truly rotten time at a recent gig, so rotten in fact that she said she'd think twice about coming to one of my gigs again. Oh dear. The reason? Indifferent performance? Bad songs? Poor arrangements? Shoddy venue? No. She'd a rotten time because the audience - wilfuly "encouraged by me" - had sung along - very enthusiastically - on the three or four chorus songs I sang in the course of that night (and indeed pretty much any other night would be the same). Unfortunately, folks had done so also with more than a wee bit shaky attention to pitch. The complainant concerned had been sitting next to an old fellow who sang along with great gusto out of tune on every occasion, and the experience had ruined her night.

I might, she noted, think that inviting folks to join in with choruses was a "nice" thing to do. But it's not. In fact, she added, though listening to a CD lacked the atmosphere of a live show, she could hear songs as she like dthem that way. And she had, after all, paid to hear me and my band not the old guy next to her.

Now I don't think mass singing is obligatory at public events. I enjoy many singers who never go there. And I think singalongs can be way overdone in concert settings. But I had a wee look at my set and did some sums and worked out that no more than 20-25% of my songs could be construed as actively participative. And even then only on choruses. The others are in the main very intimate affairs. Often dark. A bit draining even. Certainly songs for listening to. And I'm lucky to get attentive audiences.

I'm quite mystified as to how anyone who knows my music (as this person did) could think that a song like "I'm Gonna Do It All" served any purpose other than a participative one. Jings, if folks didn't sing that song then I wouldn't sing it at all. I'd feel like a tital divvy otherwise.

Now I've tried to overcome by initial flummoxed reaction to this mail. But I'm forced to conclude not only that the person concerned doesn't really get what I'm about but doesn't get what it is, at least to me, to be a "folkie". Encouraging an audience to join isn't about being "nice", or trying desperately to be "liked". It's intrinsic to this musical stuff.  If I had to perform to silent audiences every night and were never again to hear a room full of people singing along with me, I swear I'd do something else instead. The communal spirit of a folk gig that's working means as much to me as any deep emotional resonance that a song might elicit.

So my advice to anyone who'd rather hear my songs or anyone else's just like on the CD? In reverent silence? Without the inconvenience of other people's enthusiasm?

Buy a nice bottle of wine. Turn on the stereo. And just stay at home.